I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
The adults are the big ones right?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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