I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Your cock deserves a montage
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
