Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
