I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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