By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
