i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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