Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I need to calm my uterus...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
