My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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