shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
