i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
