Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
