you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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