you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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