actually, I'm a sock model
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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