We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
