i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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