I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
