omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
