Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
