i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
