I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
