I think I won the penis lottery.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
