I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Randomize
