I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
