Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
