smell my finger.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
