I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
