why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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