Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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