Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
