So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
