i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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