Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
