I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
