I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
they need to just BURY HIM!
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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