halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
