whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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