I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
