turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
