My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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