I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
