Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I understand Curling. That high.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
