so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
