yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
