I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
