i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
