Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
