I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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