how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
