I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
