the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
