how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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