Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
