well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
