I'm laying in your front yard are you home
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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