Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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