So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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